An excellent article by Lara Hogan. My favorite part:
We’re going to have to lean into the discomfort of this moment here. I’m sorry!
It might feel easier to avoid this awkward conversation, or simply trust that the feedback has landed. But moving forward without triple-checking that you’re on the same page wouldn’t be fair to your teammate. As you said, we want to make sure there’s no surprises about what’s expected of them and their behavior going forward.
First off, you have permission to plainly state the facts of the moment: you’re not sure if your feedback has landed, and it’s important that it does.What to do when your feedback doesn’t land by Lara Hogan
I’ve come to discover this tactic of naming the feeling and then intentionally pausing extremely valuable, not just in this situation. Whenever the conversation gets challenging or tense or it feels like conflict will erupt, I’ve found it effective to name that fear or worry and then stop.
It tends to defuse and clarify.